The Wizard of Oro
by J-Rocker Girl
Summary: i think the title says enough for itself, need suggestions, review, there are a few created characters, need help with them read my other rk fic. review to the last chapter at least, please, thank you
1. Default Chapter

THE WIZARD OF OZ: RUROUNI KENSHIN STYLE!~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own RK nor the Wizard of Oz  
  
~  
  
Dorothy: Kaoru (with pigtails)  
  
Toto: Kenshin (wears a leash)  
  
Scarecrow #1: Aki (wears her own kasa and has straw in her hair)  
  
Scarecrow #2: Misao (wears random kasa and has corn husks in her hair)  
  
Tinman #1: Suzuka (wears English knight's helmet)  
  
Tinman #2: Aoshi (see Suzuka)  
  
Cowardly lion #1: Sano (wears random Mardi Gras mask)  
  
Cowardly lion #2: Saito (wears cheesy Albertson's mask)  
  
Munchkins etc.: Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, Suzume (whatever their characters usually wear)  
  
Glenda: Tae (wears a pink kimono instead of Akobeko uniform)  
  
Wicked witch: Megumi (has broom wears pointed witch hat)  
  
Wizard of Oz: Dr. Gensai (wears stupid blue wizard hat with stars on it)  
  
~  
  
~*~((:You know the first part of the story, family crisis, cousins, Auntie- Em, there's a tornado, blah, blah, blah, now we're in Munchkin Land, you know the setting.:))~*~  
  
~  
  
(Kaoru and Kenshin walk out of the Kamiya dojo to see Munchkin land. Kaoru is happily holding Kenshin's leash)  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore...  
  
Kenshin: That we aren't, Kaoru-Dono. I mean, woof, that I do!  
  
Kaoru: where do you think we are, Kenshin-inu?  
  
Tae: (floats in) Why, you're in Munchkin Land.  
  
Kaoru: I don't see any munchkins, Tae-San....  
  
Tae: I'm getting there, Kaoru-San. Ahem, your dojo landed on the Wicked witch of the East (motions to hair and ribbon sticking out from under the dojo) her sister, Megumi-  
  
Kaoru: Megumi-San?!  
  
Tae: just go with it, Kaoru-San. The wicked witch of the west is looking for that indigo ribbon, there, and will do anything to get it. You must not let her have it. You must take it to Oz to the wizard he can help you get home.  
  
Kaoru: that makes no sense. How do we get to Oz??  
  
Tae: I'll let the munchkins explain. (floats away)  
  
Kaoru: (picks up indigo ribbon) (gets evil smirk) here, Kenshin (ties ribbon in ponytail) you can guard it  
  
Kenshin: Oro....um. ruff.  
  
(Yahiko, Tsubame, Ayame, and Suzume run out into the open)  
  
Tsubame and Ayame: we welcome you to Munchkin Land...  
  
Suzume: yeah, Munchkin Land!  
  
Yahiko: okay, let's cut to the point, follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, fa, la, la, la, la, follow the yellow brick road. You get the point. Now go.  
  
Ayame and Suzume: bye, Uncle Kenny!!  
  
(Kaoru and Kenshin wave as they follow the yellow brick road)  
  
(Kaoru and her "dog" come to a fork in the road where two scarecrows are hanging in a cornfield)  
  
Kaoru: I hate this place....so many-  
  
Scarecrows: (get off posts and rush into cornfield) GET AWAY FROM HERE YOU STUPID BIRDS!! (crows fly off) (scarecrows come back to posts and put away weapons and go back to being just plain scarecrows)  
  
Kenshin: don't they look familiar, Kaoru-Dono?  
  
Kaoru: (looks at scarecrows closer) I don't know...which way should we go?  
  
Scarecrow #1: that way (points to the left)  
  
Scarecrow #2: that way (points to the right)  
  
Both: (notice they're pointing in different directions) or maybe that way (S#1 points up, S#2 points down) who knows?  
  
Kaoru: it's Aki-Chan and Misao-Chan! Why are they acting like scarecrows?  
  
Aki: (shrugs) the authors made us do it  
  
Misao: if I ever get my hands on them I'll.....  
  
Aki: Misao-Chan, that's not the situation at hand, now  
  
Misao: oh, right, what was your question, Kaoru?  
  
Kaoru: which way should we go?  
  
Aki: heck, I don't know (jumps from post to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)  
  
Misao: we figured maybe some random people would figure it out and we'd follow (also jumps down to join Kaoru and Kenshin-inu)  
  
Aki: where are you planning on going?  
  
Kaoru: we're going to see the wizard of Oz  
  
Misao: us too, the stupid crows stole our shoes  
  
Aki: yup...being a barefoot scarecrow is kind of hard. Especially in Japan.  
  
Kenshin: you have a thing for following, don't you Misao?  
  
Misao: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BIG JERK!! (kicks Kenshin in the face)  
  
Kenshin: oro....it was a joke...  
  
Aki: (sarcastically) Kenshin, that ribbon really goes with your eyes.  
  
Kaoru: doesn't it though? ^_^  
  
Aki: well, I would suggest us splitting up to find out where to go, but that would put us back at square one. So, let's just pick a random direction and go to the right.  
  
Misao: yeah, I'm right-handed, why not?  
  
Kaoru: sounds good to me (shrugs)  
  
(later down the road)  
  
Kenshin: I like being a dog, that I do ^_^  
  
Random cat that shows up every now and then: (pops out of Kaoru's basket) (hisses) (hackles go up)  
  
Kaoru: now, now, neko, no attacking Kenshin  
  
Kenshin: so maybe I don't like being a dog that much...  
  
Misao: what do you think the wizard is like?  
  
Aki: As long as I get my shoes back, I really don't care.  
  
Kaoru: I'm getting hungry... (reaches up to get an apple)  
  
Aki: no, Kaoru-San, not those apples.  
  
Misao: let's keep walking until we find another apple orchard.  
  
Kaoru: what's wrong with these apples? (points)  
  
Apple tree: yeah, what's wrong with these apples?  
  
Kaoru: forget I said anything ^_^;;;;;;;  
  
Apple tree: why don't you want my apples?  
  
Kaoru: I'd love some of your apples  
  
Apple tree: oh, so you want a piece o' me, do you?  
  
Aki: K-Kaoru-San, we'd better be going....  
  
Misao: yeah, I'm sure there are other apples on other trees....  
  
(Aki and Misao each grab one of Kaoru's arms and bolt into the bushes. Kenshin is still on a leash, so of course he has to follow)  
  
Kenshin: Ittai...  
  
Kaoru: what was that all about?  
  
Aki: long story...  
  
Misao: VERY long  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, get up! (yanks leash)  
  
Kenshin: oro....!  
  
Kaoru: oh, look, tin...men?  
  
(in the middle of a clearing two tinmen are randomly standing around)  
  
Tinman #1: oil...  
  
Kenshin: what?  
  
Tinman #2: can...  
  
Kenshin: Nani?  
  
Tinman #1: (lifts mask) oil can!!  
  
Tinman #2: (lifts mask) we need an oil can!!  
  
Kenshin: oh, hello, Itoko-Chan and Aoshi ^_^  
  
Kaoru: Suzuka and Aoshi, how are you?  
  
Suzuka: rusty, according to the script.  
  
Aoshi: where are you headed?  
  
Kaoru: we're off to see the wizard...! Yeah, to see the wizard of Oz.  
  
Aki: what do you want from the wizard other than an oil can?  
  
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish, of course.  
  
Aki: helmet polish?  
  
Misao: At least we want something useful  
  
Aki: (nods)  
  
Aoshi: well, if you think that's so useless, then what do you want from the wizard?  
  
Misao: brains. I mean, shoes!  
  
Aki: it's okay, Misao-Chan (pats on head)  
  
Suzuka: what do you want from the wizard, Kenny?  
  
Kenshin: you mean other than a bone? Uh...I think I'm going dog. Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo  
  
Megumi: (pops in) (cackles) hello, Ken-Sama...and Raccoon girl....and everyone else. Hi, Suzuka-Chan! :D Ahem, Kaoru, give me Ken-Sama's ribbon!  
  
Kaoru: no! It goes with his eyes! Doesn't it, Aki?  
  
Aki: heh, heh...right...  
  
Megumi: Well, anyway, all you need to know right now is: I'LL GET YOU, MY LITTLE RACCOON!! And that adorable little dog, too! (pops out)  
  
Kaoru: and apparently, that's our antagonist.  
  
Aki: (sarcastically) how intimidating.  
  
Kaoru: where do we go from here?  
  
Aki: I don't know, those stupid apple trees threw us off course!  
  
~Eventually, our heroes get back on track and decide to sing a little song....for some reason~  
  
Aki: I REFUSE TO SING THAT SONG!!  
  
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears oh, my!  
  
Aki: THERE IS NO WAY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT I'M SINGING THAT SONG!!  
  
All else: lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!  
  
Kenshin: (trips on rock) lions, and tigers, and bears, that they are. Oro...  
  
Suzuka: Come on, Aki, we're trying to keep in unison, here.  
  
Aki: I AIN'T SINGIN' THE SONG!!  
  
Cowardly lion #1: we know you're not singing the song.  
  
Cowardly lion #2: some of us have eardrums, banshee.  
  
Cowardly lion #1: no, it's battleaxe.  
  
Aki: my name is Aki, not banshee, not battleaxe, speaking of stupid nicknames, what are you doing here, baka?  
  
Sano: (jumps out) hey, Kenshin, how' it going, buddy?  
  
Cowardly lion #2: (walks up next to Sano) don't play with your food.  
  
Kenshin: hello, Saito  
  
Saito: what are you doing here, Himura?  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin, dogs don't talk. We're going to see the wizard!  
  
Aki: no more singing....  
  
Kaoru: don't worry, Aki-Chan, no more singing...for a while.  
  
Aki: (strange look)  
  
Saito: okay, let's get the stupid questioning over in one question, what do you all want from the wizard?  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu and I want to go back home to Tokyo.  
  
Aki and Misao: foot ware.  
  
Suzuka and Aoshi: helmet polish.  
  
Sano: Saito here wants psychological help. I want some saké.  
  
Saito: you can't even SPELL psychological.  
  
Sano: that's why you're getting the help and not me. Who goes around wearing one of those ridiculous masks anyway?  
  
Saito: you should talk  
  
Sano: hey, my mask is feathery, not pseudo-plastic.  
  
Saito: you can't even spell pseudo.  
  
Aki: hey, only I get to pick on the baka!  
  
Saito: oh? And what gives you the right?  
  
Aki: (throws chained scythe that barely misses Saito's face and hits a tree) that could have been your nose...as big as a target it is...  
  
Saito: okay ^_^  
  
Kenshin: uh-oh, he's doing the ^_^ thing again.  
  
Saito: I don't need any of you, anyway ^_^ I can find the wizard myself ^_^ who needs garden tools, protective headgear and, a guy wearing a mask, anyway? ^_^;;;;  
  
Misao: what is he babbling about?  
  
Aki: (shrugs) I don't speak that language. Did he just call me a garden tool?  
  
Kaoru: we really should get going...Saito, are you through with your fit?  
  
Saito: wait, I have one more. ^_^ Okay, I'm done.  
  
~Everyone, without killing each other come to a dark forest~  
  
~ back at Megumi's fortress~  
  
Megumi: FLY, FLY, MY PRETTIES, FLY!!!  
  
Tsubame: I don't like flying...  
  
Ayame: I'm a monkey!:)  
  
Suzume: Yeah! A monkey!:)  
  
Yahiko: is this really necessary?  
  
Suzume: yeah! N-ne-necessary!:)  
  
Tsubame: Yahiko-Chan, I'm afraid of heights!! (clings)  
  
Suzume: yeah! Afraid of heights!:)  
  
Yahiko: where are we headed to, Megumi?  
  
Suzume: yeah! Headed to!:)  
  
Megumi: bring me the raccoon and the dog, kill the others  
  
Suzume: yeah! Bring her a puppy!:)  
  
Yahiko: Kenshin and Kaoru preach against killing.  
  
Megumi: uh...knock 'em out!  
  
Yahiko: whatever, fox girl.  
  
Suzume: Yeah! Fox girl!  
  
Yahiko: would you stop repeating everything anyone says?  
  
Suzume: but it's fun!:)  
  
Yahiko: (to Megumi) doesn't that come later in the story, though?  
  
Megumi: fine, you can take a break, you slacker! I'll just make Kaoru and Ken-Sama be knocked unconscious by a random field of poppies right before they get to Oz.  
  
Yahiko: Megumi?  
  
Megumi: yes?  
  
Yahiko: you know the hat doesn't go with anything you're wearing, right?  
  
Megumi: (pounds Yahiko over the head) what was that?  
  
Yahiko: ugh...  
  
Megumi: I thought so.  
  
~Back in the dark woods~  
  
Aki: you and your shortcuts (hits Sano over head)  
  
Sano: I thought I came here before. I told you I wasn't sure. That hurt, too.(rubs head)  
  
Aki: we're not trying to go to Megumi's castle, we're trying to get to Oz.  
  
Saito: moron, he probably thought he smelled saké.  
  
Sano: I DID NOT, I JUST LIKE FORESTS ALRIGHT?!  
  
Saito: whatever, we've got to get to Kyoto, I mean Oz.  
  
Kaoru: Oz is the Emerald City, right?  
  
Misao: yup.  
  
Kaoru: well then, why not follow the glowing green light over there?  
  
Kenshin: now that you mention it, there is a rather conveniently placed light over there, that there is.  
  
Suzuka: I guess we should follow it then.  
  
All else: (shrug) okay  
  
Kaoru: (gasps) poppies! :D (yawns) (falls asleep)  
  
Kenshin: I'm getting tired too, that I am (falls asleep)  
  
Sano: (falls over asleep)  
  
Aki: Sano, look, it's narrow eyes! (points to Saito)  
  
Sano: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Aki: let's try that again. Sano, narrow eyes says he can out-drink you!!  
  
Sano: (pops up) we've got to find that saké, I'll show him!!  
  
Aki: thought that might work, after losing to me of all people on a drinking contest!  
  
Sano: I forgot about that. now I'm even more determined! Gr......  
  
Aki: calm down, Sasquatch. You'll hurt yourself.  
  
Misao: why aren't we falling asleep?  
  
Aki: well, Saito's an insomniac  
  
Saito: coffee...  
  
Aki: we're supposed to be scarecrows ergo, we're not human  
  
Suzuka: and we're supposed to be tinmen. Sleep can't stop the power of metal apparently  
  
Sano: (shrugs) (throws a sleeping Kenshin over his shoulder) everyone else ready?  
  
Aki: (throws a sleeping Kaoru over her shoulder) they should be now.  
  
~back at Megumi's~  
  
Megumi: dang it! They got past the poppies! The lions should have been out too! Why didn't they fall asleep?! YAHIKO, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!  
  
Yahiko: sure, right, whatever.  
  
Megumi: if you hadn't gotten me irked over correcting my timing in this story, I wouldn't have set up something this stupid!! Poppies!  
  
Yahiko: it was your idea you know  
  
Megumi: (hits him over head) what was that?  
  
Yahiko: would you stop that?!  
  
~the gates of Oz~  
  
Kaoru (AN: yay, she's awake!:)): what do we do now?  
  
Aoshi: common sense would say knock, but we don't exactly seem to have a plague of common sense among us, do we?  
  
Aki: hey, be nice to Kaoru-San!  
  
Saito: you like starting arguments, don't you?  
  
Aki: you both must like pain, don't you?  
  
Kaoru: um...right, back to the knocking.  
  
Kenshin: (knocks on closed window)  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin-inu, dogs can't knock.  
  
Kenshin: sorry, Kaoru-Dono, you can knock.  
  
Kaoru: thank you Kenshin (knocks on closed window)  
  
Tsubame: (comes to window) hai?  
  
Kaoru: we're here to see the wizard  
  
Tsubame: okay...just a minute, please (closes window)  
  
~Ayame and Suzume open the doors~ (AN: the doors are Styrofoam;))  
  
Yahiko: Welcome to Oz. I hate this job.  
  
Kenshin: bark, ruff, woof. How do you think I feel? :)  
  
Aki: we don't have to ride on one of those stupid carriages with the tie- dye horses, do we?  
  
Misao: I hope not. They kind of scare me.  
  
Tsubame: no, you don't have to. In fact, we could get you some fresh straw and corn husks for your hair before you see the wizard (ushers the scarecrows through double doors)  
  
Ayame: (holds Suzuka's hand in one hand and Aoshi's in the other) and we could freshen you two up for the wizard too (ushers them to the same doors)  
  
Suzume: Yeah!:) freshen you up for the wizard!:) (takes Sano and Saito through the doors)  
  
Yahiko: you saw which doors they went through (walks off)  
  
~thru the double doors, the Oniwabanshu are taking care of everyone~  
  
lady from the Oniwabanshu # 1 (AN: sorry, I don't know their names) : Leader, maybe you and your friend would like a haircut?  
  
LFO # 2: oh, yes, get all that hair out of your eyes.  
  
Aki and Misao: (each grab their own hair) NO!!  
  
LFO # 1: maybe a new hairdo?  
  
LFO # 2: oh, of course, it would still get the hair out of your eyes, but you'd still have all of it.  
  
Aki: sorry, I like my hair in a ponytail  
  
Misao: and I like mine in a braid.  
  
LFO #1&2: (shrug) (replace straw in Aki's hair and corn husks in Misao's)  
  
Shishio: (walks up to Sano and Saito) hi, I'll be your hairdrether for today  
  
Tokiyo: Hello, Hajime-Chan  
  
Saito: hello dear.  
  
Shishio: (takes out scissors) I'll jutht cut off those thplit endth for ya  
  
Sano: I'd like to see you try  
  
Shishio: (shrugs) (tries to cut his hair) you know I've alwayth wanted to be a hairdrether, taking over Japan wath jutht a phathe I went through (scissors break) oh, dear me. What to do, what to do...I've got an idea! (tries to cut hair with sword, buzz saw, and eventually a blow torch, all break)  
  
Sano: told ya.  
  
Shishio: we've got to do thomething with your hair...thomething to make it more interesthting. I know, I'll dye it pink! (pulls out pink hair dye)  
  
Sano: AAUUGHH!! AKI!! (jumps out of chair) (tackles Aki)  
  
Aki: what is it, baka?  
  
Sano: he tried to dye my hair pink!  
  
Shishio: (happily waves to Aki)  
  
Aki: yeah, Sano, that's really threatening  
  
Misao: poor baby, did he scare you?  
  
Sano: I swear, he did!  
  
Aki: (rolls eyes) come on, baka, we'll wait for everyone else outside  
  
Sano: he did!! You should have seen what he did to Kenshin this one time, I think he infected him! Personally, I think the guy's a vampire!  
  
Misao: right, Sano, and trains are run by an evil spirit  
  
Aki and Sano: THEY ARE!!  
  
~(they walk out)~  
  
Tokiyo: you know dear, I really think you should stop using that hair gel to slick your back. You should let it fall in your face. Besides, I like it better down. (washes Saito's hair and dries it) (pulls out mirror) kawaii, ne?  
  
Saito: oh, yes, Tokiyo-Chan, very cute. ^_^ Although, I would be able to give a straight answer....if I could see ^_^  
  
Tokiyo: well, you don't have to get all ^_^ about it!  
  
Hiko: (walks up to Aoshi and Suzuka) prepare for a hairdressing session that may change your innocent philosophies of the world. (pops knuckles)  
  
Suzuka: (jumps up in chair) don't you come near me!!  
  
Aoshi: yeah! Don't you come near her!  
  
Hiko: fine, you lather, rinse, and repeat (throws shampoo bottle into air which they catch)  
  
Suzuka: oh yeah, I'm reformed, let me tell ya.  
  
Aoshi: I've seen the light, now will somebody turn it off?  
  
Suzuka: huh?  
  
Aoshi: I don't know, should we wait for someone to come or...just sit?  
  
Soujiro: (walks in) oh, I see you've already got the shampoo ready for me!:)  
  
Aoshi and Suzuka: oh, no  
  
Yumi-baka: (walks up to Kenshin and Kaoru) oh, I definitely have my work cut out for me now, don't I?  
  
Kaoru: (glares darts)  
  
Komatori: (walks in) oh, this is going to take all day!  
  
Kaoru: (glares lasers)  
  
Yumi-baka: I'll start on you first (points to Kaoru) and you'll be my nurse (points to Komatori)  
  
Komatori: (cackles)  
  
Kaoru: DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!! Yours is bad enough already.  
  
Yumi-baka: Komatori?  
  
Komatori (ties Kaoru to the chair)  
  
Kenshin: Kaoru-Dono!  
  
Yumi-baka: relax, she'll be fine. (to Komatori) sutures.  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru: SUTURES?!  
  
Yumi-baka: I was joking....scissors.  
  
~a few minutes later~  
  
Yumi-baka: (hands Kaoru a mirror)  
  
Kaoru: .....it's just the same....  
  
Komatori: what are you talking about? It looks much better. Would've looked better if I had done it, but.....  
  
Yumi-baka: now for you, Battousai  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin's a dog, he doesn't need his hair cut (runs out dragging Kenshin by the leash)  
  
Aoshi and Suzuka: TAKE US WITH YOU!!  
  
Saito: thanks for the makeover, Tokiyo-Chan, but I have to go (leaves)  
  
~outside the doors~  
  
Saito: (Walks up)  
  
Sano: (snickers)  
  
Saito: what is it, moron?  
  
Aki: Gee, I just love those manly butterflies in your hair (pause)  
  
All else: (lol)  
  
Tsubame: Come on, now, the Wizard will see you now  
  
............................................................................ ......................................  
  
Aki: okay, that's it for now  
  
Avia: what do you want to see happen next?  
  
Misao: MORE SAITO BASHING!!  
  
Kaoru: it's up to the readers, Misao-Chan  
  
Naruto: I can read, I want ramen!!  
  
Avia: where did you come from?!  
  
Naruto: Konohagakure no Sato?  
  
Avia: oh, good grief!  
  
Cho: should I be flying monkey?  
  
Aki: hey, it's Broom-Head!!  
  
Rooster/Chicken-Head: where?!  
  
Aki: now it's the flying Broom monkey!  
  
Avia: or, just whatever you want to see happen  
  
Megumi: or maybe I should get rid of this stupid witch hat and broom and trade it in for a tiara and a vacuum cleaner!  
  
Avia: like I said, it's up to you  
  
Naruto: I WANT RAMEN!!  
  
Sakura: AND I WANT SASUKE!! Did I just say that?  
  
Sasuke: yeah, well I want to kill my brother but you don't see that happening  
  
Cho: yeah, well I want a shriner hat!  
  
Sano: yeah, well I want my zan-batou! (zan-batou appears in hands) YEAH!!  
  
Cho: yeah, well I want my MOMMY!! (runs from Sano and zan-batou)  
  
Sano: (chases)  
  
Avia: end author's note!! 


	2. The Wizards of the Emerald City

~THE WIZARDS OF THE EMERALD CITY~  
.......................................................................  
.....................................  
  
(Avia: due to a certain request, the wizard has now been upped to two wizards. The other one is Akina  
  
Naruto: what does THAT have to do with ramen?  
  
Misao: everything and more  
  
Sakura: yes, but what does that have to do with Sasuke?  
  
Aki: how should I know?  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin's so cute as a puppy! ^__^  
  
Megumi: I thought only Saito was allowed to have those  
  
Kaoru: no, I said ^__^ not ^_^  
  
~*Sano runs through chasing Cho with the zan-batou*~  
  
Cho: AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sano: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Aki: GET 'IM, BAKA!!  
  
Avia: back to the story please O.o;;  
  
Kenshin: oro?  
  
Sasuke: what about me?  
  
Kakashi: be quiet, I'm trying to read!!  
  
Avia: you're not reading this...I don't write "Icha-Icha Paradise"  
  
Kakashi: huh?  
  
Avia: end author's note!!)  
  
............................................................................ ......................................  
  
Tsubame: okay, here's the wizards' room. (leaves)  
  
Kaoru: is she saying wizards' or wizard's?  
  
Aki: I think she put the apostrophe in front of the s this time  
  
Saito: how can you tell??  
  
Aki: because I can, butterfly breath!  
  
Saito: IT WAS JUST A QUESTION!! ^_^  
  
***STARING CONTEST!!***  
  
Misao: my money's on Aki!  
  
Sano: ditto. Plus, she's got my money, I don't think I have much to lose.  
  
Suzuka: I ain't stupid.  
  
Aoshi: yeah, we're voting for Aki.  
  
Saito: ^_^  
  
Aki: HA! YOU SMILED FIRST!!  
  
Saito: I did? Man, I've got to stop doing that when I get mad!  
  
Wizard #1: (clears throat)  
  
Kaoru: hey, it's Dr. Gensai!  
  
Wizard #2: oh, and I just don't get any recognition?  
  
Misao: Akina!!  
  
Dr. Gensai: (puts on serious face) what do you want from the wizardS of Oz?  
  
Akina: what's the point in asking if we already know?  
  
Dr. Gensai: right. You. The barefoot scarecrows. You want shoes, yes?  
  
Aki and Misao: duh!  
  
Dr. Gensai: sorry, sorry, I was only concluding...  
  
Akina: And you, the rusting tinman...and woman. Helmet polish.  
  
Suzuka and Aoshi: and an oil can!  
  
Dr. Gensai: and the lion people...things. Beer and shrink.  
  
Sano: there's a difference between saké and beer  
  
Saito: I don't need a shrink  
  
Sano: no, you need Brentwood in its entirety.  
  
Saito: what was that? (AN: just incase your as confused as Saito, Charter Brentwood is a local mental institution)  
  
Sano: (in a sing-song voice) pick up the phone and call "1-800-C-H-A-  
R-T-E-R"  
  
Saito: I still don't get what you're saying, moron ^_^  
  
Aki: he's saying you need three things. You need help, you need it  
psychiatrically, and you need it now.  
  
Dr. Gensai: I get the point.  
  
Misao: point? What point?  
  
Akina: Anywho. You, the girl in the pigtails and the dog, what do  
you want?  
  
Kaoru: (AN: here it comes again) Kenshin-inu and I want to go back  
home to Tokyo  
  
Kenshin: (lifts a finger) de gozaru yo (nods)  
  
Akina: of course, this all has a catch.  
  
Dr. Gensai: they're not supposed to know that until we've said we can  
help them  
  
Akina: fine. We can help you, there's a catch. Happy??  
  
Dr Gensai: okay, I am now.  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo.  
  
Suzuka: that's great and everything, but what IS the catch??  
  
Akina: you must destroy the wicked witch of the west  
  
Dr. Gensai: www.www.com ? ^^;;  
  
Akina: and bring us her broom for proof  
  
Dr. Gensai: www.www_broom.com?? ^___^;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Akina: are you done with your stupid .com jokes?!  
  
Dr. Gensai: for_now.org  
  
Akina: right. But, you're all a bunch of slackers except for Misao  
anyway, so what's the point in believing you can do it?  
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Misao: X.x;;;  
  
Saito: I AM RICHARD, DUKE OF GLOUCESTER!!  
  
All else: Nani?  
  
Saito: just seeing if you were paying attention. What if I were to  
tell you I were Hamlet, Prince of Denmark and that my wife was the  
fair Ophelia?  
  
Aki: I'd say we'd better get the quests over with so we can get you  
to that shrink ASAP.  
  
Saito: what's shrinking?  
  
Aki: your brain, apparently.  
  
Saito: eh?  
  
Aki: Nandemo...  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo.  
  
Yahiko: (runs in) CANIGOCANIGOCANIGOCANIGO?!?!?!?!?  
  
Sano: T.T;; no.  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo.  
  
Yahiko: WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?!?!?!?  
  
Sano: T.T because you work for Megumi, flying monkey.  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo  
  
Cho: (falls through roof) HOWDY!! (AN: sorry, Vera-Chan, I know you're from Dallas and all, but Broom Head still has that annoying fake Texas accent.)  
  
Aki: you have a thing for falling through things, don't you?  
  
Cho: what in tarnation are you talking about?  
  
Misao: WHAT?! do you not remember falling through the door at the Kamiya dojo?! (AN: fic reference, not show reference Rurouni Kaoru at least knows what she's talking about:))  
  
Cho: nope, that was all a bler. I'M A FLYIN' MONKEY!!  
  
Kenshin: you misspelled "blur" that you did  
  
Cho: no I didn't  
  
Kaoru: yes, you did. You spell it b-l-u-r, not b-l-e-r  
  
Cho: well, bler on you!  
  
Sano: flying....broom....monkey...EVIL!!!!  
  
Aki: Sano-Kun? You okay?  
  
~(zan-batou randomly and conveniently appears in Sano's hands)~  
  
Cho: uh-oh.  
  
Akina: BACK TO THE SUBJECT PLEASE!!!!  
  
Yahiko: IWANNACOMEIWANNACOMEIWANNACOME!!!!  
  
Aki: look, Yahiko-Chan, you have to play your roles  
  
Yahiko: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKISHLY TALL FOR A GIRL, YOU THINK YOU CAN BOSS YAHIKO MYOJIN AROUND?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Hm, that doesn't sound right. There's nothing small about me. Scratch the ko off my name. All of you shall now know me as...(dramatic pause) YAHI-KUN!!!  
  
Aki: Yahiko-Chan-  
  
Yahiko: YAHI-KUN!!!! (AN: don't tell me I was the only one that saw that coming eventually)  
  
~(Sano runs around in the background, chasing the "evil flying broom monkey" with zan-batou)~  
  
Akina: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!!!!  
  
Everybody: (shuts up) (and stops what they're doing)  
  
Dr. Gensai: thank you  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo.  
  
Akina: did you not hear me? I SAID SHUT UP!!  
  
Kenshin: oro...I mean, ruff, Kaoru-Dono, that I do.  
  
Akina: you get the deal? You kill the witch lady, and I help you with your problems  
  
Kaoru: but we don't kill!!  
  
Kenshin: de gozaru yo.  
  
Saito: I'm a butterfly!!!!!!!!!  
  
All else: WE GET IT!!  
  
Aoshi: hello, I haven't said anything this whole chapter except for one line, so I thought I'd drop by and say I'm still here.  
  
Saito: I'm a pretty purple butterfly...T.T what did I just say?  
  
Suzuka: you don't want to know.  
  
Saito: oh, come on, tell me!! ^_^  
  
Suzuka: no.  
  
Dr. Gensai: (coughs, coughs, coughs...up a hairball)  
  
Avia: Joshua!! (AN: my black cat) where have you been?!  
  
Hairball/Joshy: meow.  
  
Avia: you know you're not supposed to be outside on Halloween!! (picks up cat and walks off)  
  
Gensai: could someone tell me why I just coughed up a cat?  
  
Kaoru: it got our attention.  
  
Akina: fine, if you don't want to kill her, revert her...or something along those lines NOW GO!!! Ciao, Misao ~_^  
  
............................................................................ ......................................  
  
Avia: sorry this was so short, but I HAD to update SOMETHING!  
  
Cho: AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sano: is he still running around? I stopped chasing him  
  
Megumi: hmph. Everyone's ignoring me  
  
Tsubame: Yahiko-Chan, why did you change your name?  
  
Yahiko: YAHI-KUN!!  
  
Tsubame: but, I liked Yahiko-Chan (starts to cry)  
  
Yahiko: okay, but only YOU can call me Yahiko.  
  
Tsubame: thank you, Yahiko-Chan!! (hugs)  
  
Megumi: you're still ignoring me.  
  
Aki: you say something, Megumi-San?  
  
Megumi: nothing important. 


	3. Megumi's Rabid Foxes

MEGUMI'S RABID FOXES  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sano: so...where are we going again?  
  
Kenshin: Megumi-San's castle no da. I mean, de gozaru.  
  
Aki: Yeah, Sano, it's the place you got us lost in while we were looking for Oz.  
  
Saito: (takes out butterfly clips) (puts them in Kaoru's hair)  
  
Kaoru: EW! GREASY!! KENSHIN, GET 'EM OUT!!!  
  
Kenshin: hai, Kaoru-Dono. (takes them out) Oro...they ARE greasy...de gozaru yo....@_@x;;; (puts them on Saito's sword)  
  
Saito: (tries to shake them off) they're not coming off (tries again) they're still not coming off. (again) Himura, get them off.  
  
Kenshin: But Tokiyo-San GAVE them to you, that she did.  
  
Saito: (growls)  
  
Aki: besides, I think your sword matches your character more now  
  
Saito: just shut up ^_^  
  
Kaoru: when we get to Megumi's castle, how are we going to get in?  
  
Misao: open the door? ^^;;  
  
Aki: Sano...you're going the wrong way  
  
Sano: where?  
  
Aki: (slaps forehead) just follow us....  
  
~*AT MEGUMI'S CASTLE*~  
  
Yahiko: Megumi, I've been thinking.  
  
Megumi: you mean you learned you use your brain?  
  
Yahiko: T.T whatever. You've been acting like a yakuza gang member lately.  
  
Megumi: (is wearing shredded kimono with a hidden sword) what are you talking about, Yahiko?  
  
Yahiko: **thinking** there's no way to get through to her...  
  
Megumi: what's your point, kozo?  
  
Yahiko: erg...my point is...for some strange reason people always associate me with a monkey. I HATE MONKEYS!!  
  
Megumi: ^-^ I still don't get the point.  
  
Yahiko: I QUIT.  
  
Tsubame: (bows) if you don't mind, I quit as well, Megumi-San.  
  
Ayame: us too!  
  
Suzume: yeah! Us too!  
  
~*(the kids leave)*~  
  
Megumi: oh well, I'll just send rabid foxes to do the job, OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!!  
  
~*~ON RANDOM MOUNTAINSIDE NEXT TO MEGUMI'S CASTLE~*~  
  
Kenshingumi: (sweatdrops)  
  
Aki: why do her castle guards look like yakuza thugs?  
  
Suzuka: I don't wanna know.....  
  
Aoshi: weird...they're wearing uniforms...  
  
Kenshin: strange, de gozaru yo.  
  
Yahiko: (whacks Kenshin over the head with bokuto)  
  
Kenshin: @.@X oro...Yahiko?  
  
Sano: I told you, you couldn't come, gaki  
  
Tsubame: we quit. As soon as this is over with, I'm going back to working at the Akabeko  
  
Ayame and Suzume: yeah, we quit!  
  
Aki: naze??  
  
Yahiko: because Megumi's a lot less tolerable than you, ugly, weasel, and Kenshin's girl clone. (pause) and she's a yakuza boss  
  
Sano: (looks at castle guards) what was your first clue?  
  
Saito: (takes butterfly clips off his sword and puts them in Yahiko's hair)  
  
Yahiko: (shivers) that's too greasy even for me... (shakes head and the clips fly back into Saito's hair)  
  
Saito: (lifts hand to head)  
  
Tokiyo's disembodied voice: Hajime-Kun...TOUCH THEM AND DIE.  
  
Saito: yes, dear  
  
TDV: good boy  
  
Saito: glad to hear it.  
  
TDV: one more thing.  
  
Saito: yes?  
  
TDV: what do you want, a boy or a girl??  
  
Saito: NANIIIIIIIIII?!  
  
TDV: YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION.  
  
Saito: either would be fine...  
  
TDV: wonderful!  
  
Saito: (faints)  
  
Aki: (bursts out into fit of hysterical laughter)  
  
Tsubame: what is it, Aki-San?  
  
Aki: (wipes away tears) Megumi got ditched by toddlers.  
  
Kenshin: that she did!  
  
~*Naruto, Youko, Koto, and Shippo randomly appear out of nowhere*~  
  
Kenshingumi: (sweat-drops again)  
  
Koto: we're Megumi's henchmen! I'm Koto.  
  
Youko: you don't need to know my name  
  
Naruto: RAMEN!!  
  
Shippo: what? where am I? Where's Kagome?  
  
Kenshin: hello Koto-Dono, You-Don't-Need-To-Know-My-Name-Dono, Ramen-Dono, and What-Dono. Nice to meet you, de gozaru.  
  
Rabid Foxes: (sweat-drop)  
  
Youko, Naruto, and Shippo: that's not my name  
  
Kenshin: that's what you said they were, de gozaru yo.  
  
Youko: my name is Youko. I'm a famous youkai from Makai.  
  
Kenshingumi: eh?  
  
Youko: Makai. You know...where youkai live  
  
Koto: I'm from Makai too! It's like destiny, isn't it, Youko-Kun?  
  
Youko: die, peon.  
  
Naruto: I'm Naruto Uzumaki from Konohagakure no Sato! I'm gonna be the next Hokage! I'm a ninja!  
  
Suzuka, Aoshi, Misao: so are we.  
  
Naruto: cool! Are you Genin, Chuunin, or Jounin?!  
  
Shippo: I'm just here. I serve no purpose whatsoever but to get on your nerves. My name is Shippo  
  
Kaoru: that's nice, but, why are you here??  
  
Youko: to kidnap you and your "dog"  
  
~*Rabid Foxes kidnap Kenshin and Kaoru*~  
  
Aoshi: I didn't even see him move  
  
Misao: weird.  
  
Aki: Saito, get up you moron! (kicks the unconscious Saito)  
  
Saito: I DIDN'T DO IT!!  
  
Sano: didn't do what?  
  
Saito: (bows to Yahiko) I didn't get in the monkey cage, Mr. Zookeeper, I didn't!  
  
Yahiko: AGAIN WITH THE DANG MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saito: (shakes head) why do I keep blacking out like that?  
  
Yahiko: LIKE I CARE!!  
  
Tsubame: what do we now that Kenshin-San and Kaoru-San are gone?  
  
Aki: go to Kitsune-baka's castle I guess.  
  
Ayame: but I don't wanna go back there again  
  
Suzume: uh-uh (shakes head)  
  
Misao: Yahiko, take them back to Oz, Dr. Gensai is there.  
  
Yahiko: ugh...fine (walks off with Ayame and Suzume)  
  
Aki: alright! Let's kick some yakuza butt!  
  
Sano: yes!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AN: woo-hoo! Finally got that done!  
  
Yahiko: I hate monkeys.  
  
Kenshin: I've been kidnapped, de gozaru yo.  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin, I'm scared! (hides behind Kenshin)  
  
Avia: ok...  
  
Kaoru: I can't help myself (huggles Kenshin) he's just so bishonen!  
  
Aki: I can relate (huggles Sano)  
  
Suzuka: yup (huggles Aoshi)  
  
Tsubame: (blushes) (huggles Yahiko)  
  
Tokiyo: hai! (huggles Saito)  
  
Avia: are we all done huggling now?  
  
Kenshin: not quite yet, de gozaru yo.  
  
~*guys huggle girls back*~  
  
Avia: now are you done?  
  
Koto: (huggles Youko)  
  
Youko: two words. Death Tree.  
  
Koto: (lets go) (backs up) 


	4. I Was a Teenage Yakuza

THE WIZARD OF ORO CHAPTER 4!! (yay...I actually did something on it...T.T;;)

I WAS A TEENAGE YAKUZA (yes, I know Megumi is 21....but this just didn't sound right)

I WAS A YAKUZA IN MY EARLY TWENTIES (see? It just doesn't work...back to the story)

(AN: this my or may not be the last chapter...guess we'll have to see...unless you want me to do a series? Like other random parodies with the Kenshingumi?? Your choice)

Kenshin and Kaoru are looking around Megumi's fortress

Kaoru: this doesn't exactly look like a fortress...It looks more like...

Kenshin: a...gambling house, de gozaru ka?

Kaoru: mixed with a clinic

Kenshin: Megumi-Dono really let this place go, de gozaru yo...X;;

Megumi: (walks in) Ken-San!! ...and Tanuki girl... (huggles Kenshin)

Kenshin: Orororororo.....

Kaoru: LET HIM GO, YOU YAKUZA THUG!! Kenshin's too good for you!!

Suzuka: yeah! Let Kenny go!! (pinches his cheeks)

Kenshin: Oro?

Random Spanish conquistador: Gold?! Where?! (looks around) LONG LIVE ISABEL AND FERDINAND!! (runs away)

Kaoru: Suzuka-san...shouldn't you be off helping everyone else?

Suzuka: oh, yeah! (runs off)

Megumi: (glares at Kaoru.) I have no idea what the little girl is going on about, do you, Ken-San? (lets go)

Kenshin: Oro...no offense, Megumi-Dono, but your style does now echo that of a yakuza gang-leader, de gozaru yo...

Megumi: (looks up from polishing sword with her tongue) did you say something, Ken-San? My sword was getting slightly rusty, and money is so hard to come by these days, OHOHOHOHOHOH!!!!

Kaoru: I hate you....

back with Kenshingumi who is now standing in the aftermath of a successful battlefield in front of the run-down fortress

Aki: Saito...

Sano: what kinda sissy fighting style was that?! These are yakuza gang members, not great Hitokiri from the Bakumatsu era!!

Saito: I'm surprised you knew how to SAY "Bakumatsu"

Misao: stop trying to hide your horrible failures with even more horrible excuses, it doesn't help. At all.

Saito: who—who's making up excuses?!

Aki: great, now he's getting nervous because his wife's pregnant with his first kid, what else could go wrong with this guy?!

Saito: I'm...not n-n-n-nervous....;;

Misao: your mask is slipping.

Aoshi: maybe he's a monk and has a spare under that one... (rolls eyes)

Saito: (fixes feathery mask)

Misao: not that one, you moron!!

Suzuka: I'm back!!

Misao: where were you?

Suzuka: annoying Kenshin...

Aoshi: figures

Aki: okay, we've known Saito was an incompetent moron, can we go now?!

Saito: what did you call me?

Sano: She called you a competent genius

Saito: oh.

Sano: Then she realized she was wrong and called you an incompetent moron.

Aki: okay, okay! Enough Saito bashing, let's get in already!!

Back with Megumi, Kaoru, and Kenshin

Kaoru: Megumi....aren't you going to go outside and stop everyone else from getting here?

Megumi: why would I leave Ken-San in here all alone with a stupid little tanuki like you?

Kaoru: well, you certainly can't make me leave...a crazy kitsune like you would probably curse Kenshin until his hair turned white!

Kenshin: oro...

Megumi: why would I curse poor Ken-San? Besides, I like his hair the way and color it is...He did a good job dyeing it.

Kenshin: Oro...it's natural, de gozaru yo...

Kaoru: see? Its natural!!

Kenshin: oro...

Megumi: YOU made him say that, you evil little witch!

Kenshin: Oro...

Kaoru: No, I didn't, he said that on his own, yakuza queen!!

Kenshin: Megumi-Dono...Kaoru-Dono...I can't fell my arms, that I can't...

Needless to say, Megumi and Kaoru each have one of Kenshin's arms and are squeezing harder with each insult.

back again with Kenshingumi who is somewhere in the fortress.

Sano: great, now where do we go?

Misao: I have an idea! Tae-San!!

Tae's disembodied voice: I can't exactly come, Misao-San...

Aki: please, Tae-San?

Tae's voice: I don't know...

Aki: I'll pay off Sano's tab if you do...

Tae: (pops in) I'm here to serve!

Saito: what's pink lady gonna do?

Aki: Sano, if you don't mind...

Sano: gotcha (somehow binds Saito's hands and feet...don't forget the gag!)

Aoshi: (mentally evil cackles as he shoves the gag down Saito's throat)

Aki, Misao, and Tae: ((.));;;;;;

Sano: what?

Aki: Sano...you wear way to much binding...;;

Aoshi: that was his binding? Interesting...yet resourceful

Megumigumi...I mean uh...Megumi, Kenshin, and Kaoru (sorry, I've always want to do that...;;)

Kenshin: Ittai, de gozaru yo...

Kaoru: I'm sorry, Kenshin...I didn't mean to let Megumi-BAKA hurt you like that....

Megumi: oh, Ken-San, do you want me to treat the wounds that tanuki-BAKA horribly inflicted on you with her horrible childish desires?

Kenshin and Kaoru: O.o o.OX

Tae: (walks in disguised) Here's your lunch, Megumi-San... (hands Megumi a tray)

Megumi: doesn't look like much, but thank you (takes tray) here, Ken-San (stuffs onigiri down thoat

Kenshin: (tries to say "Oro...domo, Megumi-Dono" through stuffed mouth) (chews)

Megumi: (starts to eat)

Kenshin: (Chew, chew, chew)

Kaoru: so you're going to eat in front of me and not offer me any?! I haven't had any lunch, either!!

Megumi: (swallows) that was horrible!! (turns to Tae) who hired you?!

Kenshin: (swallows) that tasted just like Kaoru-Dono's cooking, de gozaru yo.

Megumi: No! I'm melting! (starts to melt) and my sword's still rusty... (is now a puddle of Megumi goo)

Kenshin: Tae-Dono! You killed her!

Kaoru: no she didn't, Kenshin

Kenshin: Oro?

Kaoru: she didn't make Megumi eat the rice ball....how did you get my cooking, anyways, Tae-San?

outside the fortress with a newly-reunited Kenshingumi

Sano: Kenshin...what happened to your arms?

Misao: Kaoru and Megumi, what else?

Kaoru: well, I couldn't let Megumi take him!

Kenshin: Ano...I can't help but think we left something behind...

Suzuka: (looks at Kenshin while still pinching his cheeks) me too...but what could it be...?

back in the fortress

Saito: (spits out gag) I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE END

AN: don't fell like doing more dialogue right now...well, series, end it there? I'm not doing a sequel. Two choices. Tell me what you think. Okay, okay, you can have an epilogue before you decide!!

Epilogue

Kenshin: Tae-dono, where DID you find Kaoru-dono's food, de gozaru ka?

Tae: (sweat-drops) I think you're better off not knowing, Kenshin-san...

Kaoru: It's my cooking, Tae-chan, you can tell me, right?

Tae: well... (whispers in Kaoru's ear)

Kaoru: T.T;;

Kenshin: what is it, Kaoru-dono?

Kaoru: Kenshin, you're a rurouni and used to be Hitokiri Battousai...if you couldn't hear that, I'm not telling!! (storms off)

Kenshin: Perhaps I should find a doctor...

Tae: yes, I'd advise that...;;


End file.
